Thursday, September 8, 2005

Here's how I plan to reclaim my title in the Alison LaPlaca Open television dead pool. I read precious little about this year's new shows, so I mostly concentrated on returning shows that were long in the tooth.

10-Monday Night Football (ABC) - the only absolute gimme this year, as ABC announced this stalwart would jump to ESPN for the 2007 season.
9-Will and Grace (NBC) - slightly less absolute, all the sources I've seen call this season "eighth and final". None of them seemed to be from NBC, however.
8-Malcolm in the Middle (FOX) - Creator Linwood Boomer's leaving, the show's moved to the Friday FOX graveyard, and those kids are too old to be cute anymore.
7-King of the Hill (FOX) - Likely the final season. I'd be sorry to see it go, as I've always found it very sharp. Sadly, FOX has found it more profitable to emphasize animated shows that hurt both my eyes and ears (see McFarlane, Seth).
6-Head Cases (FOX) - Hm. "Monk" transferred to the legal realm, starring lightweight Chris O'Donnell, and in a timeslot opposite Lost and Veronica Mars? I think not.
5-The Night Stalker (ABC) - Stuart Townsend is no Darren McGavin. Alias might be a good lead-in, but it's on Thursday opposite The Apprentice and CSI:Original Recipe.
4-Bernie Mac (FOX) - Mr. Mac won a last-minute reprieve after last year's abbreviated season. Plus it moved to Fridays (see comment on Malcolm, above). All the same, in retrospect this seems like a gamble to me. The show isn't experiencing the creative drain the other FOX sitcoms are having; there may be some renewed interest in the show as it enters syndication; and the shortened season was due to illness, so perhaps the writers spent the time sharpening things. Or maybe they sat around playing GTA. Who knows.
3-Charmed (WB) - another last-minute renewal, plus all the leads' contracts are up at the end of the season.
2-WWE Smackdown (UPN) - final year in contract. Seems to me wrestling's in another decline (give it five years, it'll be back again, like Cher), and UPN's outgrown it (thanks, Kristen Bell).
1-That '70s Show (FOX) - Another show where everyone says "this is it" but the network. It placed higher in the top 10 than Monday Night Football, though, so maybe I've underseeded it.

So there you go. I sure hope there isn't a tiebreaker, since as of this writing the page says the tiebreaker is the predicted ratings for Super Bowl LX. I don't want to wait 20 years to find out who won.
(UPDATE: now corrected to XL. I'm still stinging over incurring a neg-10 at an early Ann B. Davis due to rules about giving years as 4-year digits, so I don't feel bad about poking fun at Mike's Roman numeral error).

No comments:

Post a Comment