This was a tough Out of 5 assignment. When it comes to "songs you secretly love by artists you publicly hate," if I dislike an artist, I typically dislike everything by that artist. If pressed I suppose I could pick the Creed song I find least reprehensible, but it still wouldn't be a song I like, much less secretly love. And it's not a guilty-pleasure assignment; that's an altogether different beast. Journey, for example, is a guilty-pleasure band; when I'm prone to yodeling like Steve Perry in the car, I can't very well call them a hated band, can I? Same for most '80s hair acts; the irritainment level is consistent enough to keep them in good graces.

So I went with Madonna, whose sole talent as far as I can see is signing the regular extensions on whatever Faustian agreement she has in place. "Burning Up" is just a more or less likable pop song from before she had figured out the pose; back when she was competing with the likes of Sheena Easton and Shannon. One could say the same for "Borderline" and perhaps "Lucky Star," but "Burning Up" never suffered from overplay.

Then there was finding the song. I thought maybe K. had purchased The Immaculate Collection somewhere along the line, but no dice. Who has the finest collection of crap pop (and more importantly, works from home and thus has access to said collection)? Dee, of course. She didn't have the song, but had procured it within minutes.

other front-runners:
"Big Log", Robert Plant (it's more indifference to Plant and Led Zeppelin than any strong distaste.)
"Jesus Built My Hotrod," Ministry (Al J. seemed to go from a Depeche Mode to a Big Black wannabe. But I always liked this song for the samples from the underrated film Wise Blood).
"Sorry About Your Penis," Smash Mouth (from the Orgazmo soundtrack. I re-spun it and decided it wasn't good enough for an endorsement).
"Tragedy", the Bee Gees (the memories of 1979, taping the "Spirits Having Flown" album off AM radio...but they're too close to GP).