What we did on Sunday
The following is taken from sworn testimony. Can you prove it didn't happen?

I took Kirsti down to Cafe Iberico for some tapas for her birthday. Through a series of amazing coincidences, we ran into many others who share April 3 as a birthday. When we got there, they didn't have a table for us. Kirsti quickly persuaded them to get us one, pronto. With her powers of negotiation and diplomacy, she was a regular Helmut Kohl (1930). So we're waiting for our table, trying not to fill up on bread and engaging in idle chatter.

"I couldn't believe that was Marsha Mason (1942) in Bride and Prejudice. She was looking like hall-of-fame goalie Bernie Parent (1945)." 'Yeah, she's no Picabo Street (1971), that's for sure."

Just then, who should show up but Skid Row's Sebastian Bach (1968) and Mick Mars of Motley Crue (1955).

"Hey, I remember you, didn't we meet backstage once?," Mick asked.

"I think not, you scary little troll-man," Kirsti retorted. "I haven't been backstage since my dad, a founding member of Foghat, quit the music scene. But I do remember you and I discussing the works of Washington Irving (1783) during a show at the legendary rock club First Avenue (1970)."

"Ah, indeed!" Mr. Bach replied. "I remember it well. That was during an unusual triple bill of Tony Orlando (1944), Wayne Newton (1942), and Mike Ness (1962)."

So then we went home. We ate so much we were feeling like Marlon Brando (1924). We thought about watching a Doris Day (1924) or Eddie Murphy (1961) movie, but settled on something non-birthday related. Shortly thereafter Dee called and offered to send Kirsti some fanfic for the WB's "What I like about You," starring Amanda Bynes (1986) and Jennie Garth
(1972). Kirsti politely declined. Why spoil such a nice birthday, after all?