Monday, February 26, 2007

Movie Log 2007 9-18: B-Fest wrapup
I was pretty pleased with B-Fest this year. The few things I'd seen before were either things I wanted to see again, or were placed in places where I could get a little sleep. Or else they were the first movie, The Brain that Wouldn't Die. Meh. A censored print, and a brittle one to boot-- the film broke right when the proto-Sloth creature got out. Next up was that TBS classic The Beastmaster. I hadn't seen it since I was a kid, and was surprised at how well it held up.

After a terrific Ub Iwerks Flip the Frog cartoon, it was Revenge of the Creature in sorta 3-D. I admire the NU folks for trying, but their projection equipment and poor print quality available to them make 3-D efforts a headache-inducing nightmare. I had the glasses off through most of the movie.

Off to sleep during Wizard of Speed and Time and Plan 9 From Outer Space before...Savage Sisters, this year's exploitation offering. Pseudo-exploitation, that is. A grab-the-cash caper film set in a banana republic (though the auto plates clearly say PHILIPPINES); Savage Sisters was notable for its constant near-nudity. I think it ended up more entertaining than if it had served up real T&A.


Invasion of the Star Creatures
- For many people, this was the fests' soul-crusher. And indeed, there was not much to recommend in this tale of horrible comedy stylings and aliens wearing leotards and vegetables (seriously). I did find one running gag sorta funny: the characters all belonging to a serial-hero fan club, and displaying the decoder ring at a moment's notice. I dunno...at an event that's all about bonding over geekiness, I'll buy into similar actions onscreen.

Street Trash - This year's Troma-esque offering was a vile tale of a box of ancient hooch causing homeless people to melt. There were some worthwhile bits, plus one guy whom Vincent Gallo has apparently based his entire persona upon.

The Hypnotic Eye - Women are inexplicably lighting their hair on fire or washing their faces with acid. The incidents get traced to a hypnotist's act. This was one of the more coherent films shown, except for an extended fourth-wall scene. I'd see it again. It was better than Cats.

Tarantula - Seen it before, so I slept. I needed to stay awake for...

Krull. Through means I don't remember anymore, in 1982 or so I acquired movie posters for three upcoming Columbia Pictures attractions: Blue Thunder, later a TV show eclipsed in popularity by Airwolf; Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, a 3-D flick starring Peter Strauss and a newcomer named Molly Ringwald; and...Krull. Somehow of those three, Krull is the one film I'd missed until this year, so I was eagerly anticipating it.
Yeah, that was a mistake. Krull was a real-time travelogue about walking, climbing, walking, riding horses (so why all the walking earlier?!), walking some more, climbing a little, capturing and riding new horses (what about the old horses?!), letting the new horses catch fire and fly (that was actually sorta cool), and a little more climbing for good measure. It was also about not bothering to use the ultimate weapon that the hero recovers in the first act for most of the film.

Invasion USA - Chuck Norris beating back communists, who manage to launch an invasion less plausible than the one in Red Dawn. No small feat, that.

Teenage Doll - Roger Corman gives us the straight dope on girl juvenile delinquents.A girl is on the run from a rival girl gang and the cops. I like Corman. He manages to create silk-like purses, and I'm still not sure if one character's "kid sister" was actually supposed to be her kid.


Incredible Melting Man
- Neither Jack Black in Heat Vision and Jack, nor Bob Denver on Far Out Space Nuts can top Alex Rebar's ridiculous astronaut performance. The best thing that can be said for IMM is it doesn't waste time becoming an effects extravaganza.

King Kong vs. Godzilla - Classic guys in suits. Shown via DVD; probably a harbinger of B-fests to come.

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